A man for a religion, worth it?

Well, earlier today I had been watching anupam kher’s show which had akshay kumar appearing as a guest. I had been so much impressed by his one statement. Stating what is real meditation, he said helping a person or an animal by our available strength-a rupee, 10 rs or lacs give more peace and pleasure than sitting for three hours in front of a candle or diya and meditate.

So I thought to write about this(NO OFFENCE TO ANY RELIGION OR PERSON).

Yes, according to me what he stated is 100% correct. It’s not about not accepting or opposing the religion, but it’s about helping others by our strength rather wasting it in a wrong direction. We Indians donate uncountable funds to temples, churches, or mosques. But we don’t have enough to feed a hungry child lying on footpath.

Couple of years back came a movie OH MY GOD and mostly all of us praised the work and thoughts highlighted in it. But in real life how many of us accepted the teachings taught in the movie? For many it was like “yeh sab filmy baatein hain”,

Rather wasting gallons of milk for temple which ultimately leads to the drainage should be used to fill stomachs of the needy, but we forgot it as soon as left the theatre. I guess we need to think about this. In India sculpted stones are given more importance than real breathing people. In Uttar Pradesh men are killing each other since years and for what, just for a piece of land with a doubt to whom it belongs- Hindu temple or Muslim mosque. Fighting in the name of religion has taken thousands of lives till now in our country. But people don’t understand humanity is the religion above all others.

Now we the youth of India have to take responsibilities to stop these issues and eradicate them from roots. Social customs hindering humanity should be stopped. Need to stop fighting in the name of religion and proceed towards making a better developed nation.

We at the Parallel Universe believe that it will take more time in making people understand the “Humanity is the religion above all” and that too with never ending efforts.

Dear iPhone 6, Welcome to 2012!

Hello iPhone 6, welcome to 2012!

At apple’s much awaited event, the company unveiled its brand new iPhone 6 along with iPhone 6+ and Apple Watch.

A series of jokes on iPhone 6 started soon on twitter. And then came a tweet by Ron Amadeo who reviews editor at Ars Technica, comparing the specs of newly launched iPhone 6 and LG Nexus 4. The following photo went viral soon after.

 

iPhone6 vs nexus 4

The above was tweeted by Ron Amadeo.

 

Seems like iPhone is the Internet Explorer of Mobile phone world 😀

Shweta Basu, Bengali babe in bad taste!

OMG!

Swetha basu is that you? How come you grow this big?

 

Why is she in the news?

Actress Shweta Basu Prasad, along with other businessmen were caught red handed in a high profile prostitution racket during police raids at a hotel in Banjara Hills.

swetha basu prasad

 

Started her film career at early age of 11, shweta was awarded National Film Award for Best Child Artist for the movie Makdee. She was even awarded Best Awarded best Supporting actress award at 5th International Karachi Film Festival. In 2008, she debuted in Telugu Cinema and played her first starring role in film Kotha Banguru Lokam and the movie went on to become a large commercial success.

 

How did she end up in Prostitution racket then?

I was out of money. I had to support my family and some other good causes. All the doors were closed and some people encouraged me to get into prostitution to earn money. I was helpless, and with no option left to choose, i got involved in this act” said some police sources as her official statement. 

The tragedy as it seems is more in her choice of prostitution for making money and letting go off her talent which achieved her fame at the early age of 11.

 

What are the possible things that can happen next?

Was she caught accepting money in exchange of sex or was she caught pimping in exchange of money? It would be tough task for police to prove the same. If proven, she would attract punishment. But in case she was there in intimate position with her own will then there seems to be no case at all. And after all A Consensus Sex is no crime in India.

 

Our Opinion.

We here at parallel universe appreciate the wonderful job by police apart from knowing the fact that the same police is yet to get a lead in  rape cases, bribery, murder, espionage and other more important cases but ends up in catching an actress and a high profile businessmen in a compromising position with their own will. Was she Shweta there by force? NO! The fuss made about this case somehow diverts our attention from the real issues and it is somehow waste of time and resources.

 

 

 

 

How does it feel to skip writing for straight seven days!

Have you ever wondered that how does it feel not to do the things which you are best at?

Hey there!

Writing a post after straight 10 days and the reason for this is – “mid-semester” exams. The second worst thing in an engineering student life is this “mid-semester” exams and the first “engineering” itself. All this while i felt like i had been picked and dropped into a real universe where i had to deal with all “moh maya” kind of stuff. Right from dealing with my gf to last minute preparations were the things i had been dealing from last 10 days. And now when i sit here at an empty place in the parallel universe, all sort of satirical thoughts come in my cerebral cortex. Brain that is.

Okay lets get back on something. Something like um Poonam Pandey! I just heard from leading news channels that Poonam Pandey was apparently removed from Facebook and the reason to which is unknown. This step taken by Facebook would somehow protect the humanity and especially the youth of the country from wasting much of their time by visiting her Facebook page thrice a day to check for a nude selfie. In other words Facebook unknowingly  gave a new life to all those 1.2 million online fans of Poonam Pandey. I hope Poonam would now be more conscious and cautious about what she puts online or else get banned.

ALS Ice Bucket challenge is in the news since couple of weeks and it has recently landed in India and guess what poonam pandey is here to take a challenge. The challenge taken by her was more like showcasing her 34-26-36 assets. Dressed in her black bikinis, Poonam was all set to grab the attention of her YouTube and online viewers. She just cannot afford to miss a chance where she can flaunt her assets hai na? She has now nominated three Khans of bollywood excluding Kamal R Khan to take Ice Bucket Challenge. I hope Amir Khan doesn’t  dress the “PK” way!

 

Ab life me itna famous hona hai ke koi Ice Bucket challenge ke liye nominate kare, bas itna hi famous hona hai”

 

Half Girlfriend, because a full girlfriend is too mainstream!

Hahaha!

Chetan Bhagat made my day today. I woke up to see that Chetan bhagat is about to release his new novel – “Half Girlfriend”. “Half girlfriend” i mean are you serious man? There’s half of everything hai na Chetan ji? I think he has probably derived the concept of “half girlfriend” from “Cutting chai“. Or is it the civilized way of saying “saali aadhi gharwali” 😀

And you know what? Half girlfriend is based on the love story of a Bihari boy. A rural bihari boy named Madhav who gives his ‘half’ bihari heart to a ‘half’ girl named Riya. The more bigger mystery than the nomenclature of the novel is how on the earth would a rural desi “ghee” guy fall in love with the Nutralite “butter” girl? Or is it something like bhojpuri movie “Bihari babu vilayati mem”? Sounds ‘full’ boring! Meanwhile in parallel universe it was even reported that the sequel of “half girlfriend” would be – “half+half girlfriend”, “one quarter wife”, “one and half kids” and all the other fractions ever known to mankind. Its a perfect market strategy, buy this “half girlfriend” and then buy the “half girlfriend” part 2 to get a full girlfriend! And that’s what we should expect from an IIM guy.

Well well well I won’t let my gf have that “half girlfriend” because what if someday she turns up to me and says “You can have my upper half right now and lower half on the day ‘full girlfriend’ releases”. 

Sarkar se pehle chetan bhagat ne bihar ke ladko ko special status de diya. wah kya baat! 

Chetan Bhagat has now equaled the score of JK Rowling in releasing the novels having something “half” in their names. Chetan Bhagat – 1 JK Rowling-1. Well I personally believe Madhav would be studying Engineering because engineers are reported to have two girlfriends at a time or in most cases none. And the girl would be like “oh my god he’s an engineer how cool let me fall in love”. Or in other case it would be something like a random love story. After hearing the news of “half girlfriend”, Abhishek Kapoor, the director of “Kai po che” was reported to make a movie called “HU ANE MARI HALF GIRLFRIEND” (Hindi translation-me aur meri aadhi girlfriend). Flipkart was even more excited than abhishek kapoor. It has even started taking pre orders of “full girlfriend” from now.

 

What i like the most of the about this “half girlfriend” is its pricing which is just Rs 149. Its a choice between buying Motichoor ke laddoo or the novel at the same price!

Bale Or Ben? Whatever. He is Goddamn Batman after all.

 

“He is the hero Gotham deserves, not the one it needs.”

Hereby i express my views on the topic that has much fuss about. Alright,We are talking about one of the most powerful and probably the most loved superhero character, BATMAN. He has no super powers like superman, flash, thor, hulk or Kamal R Khan i guess. The only things he has is his super detective mind, his sharp knowledge about technology, sensible feelings about his city Gotham. Are superheroes born orphans or do orphans eventually turn out to be a superheroes.

Back to the Batman, he is the superhero character with having the most number of Comic book adaptations in Hollywood movies and characterized by different directors with different actors having change in plot frequently. The last Batman Series  ‘The Dark Knight trilogy’ directed by Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale as Batman was more successful than the other adaptations of Batman in previous years. It is just because of superb cinematography and directing by Nolan that made Dark knight achieve new heights. And the actor Christian Bale, is one of the few Method actors in Hollywood who reduced his weight to 49 kg for a movie called ‘The Mechanist’.

So whats the fuss about?

The director of ‘Man of Steel’, Zack Snyder is making a movie called ‘Batman vs Superman : Dawn of Justice’ and the lead actor of Oscar winning film ‘Argo’, Ben Affleck is chosen for the role of Batman.

Well well well this is now becoming a topic for discussion and a bit matter for concern for some Hollywood critics. According to them, Ben Affleck for the role of Batman is totally wrong choice. He looks a little fatty and is not suitable compared to Nolan’s dark knight series. Now it was turn for critics who then made memes of Ben which all of a sudden went viral on internet. In an interview, Ben Affleck clarified that the upcoming movie is not connected with dark knight trilogy and it will not harm any ‘ morals and values ‘ of Nolan’s Batman. He also said ” I don’t know whether I am perfect for the role or not, but I will give my 100% to be exactly what audience want. ” (clap …clap…clap..).

But you know what Ben affleck can do anything after all. Right from rescuing people in his movies to act as a superhero, one cannot easily stop him. Had Anurag Kashyap ever called Ben he would have surely agreed to do the role of Sardar Khan. Sardar khan naam hai hamara, bata dijiye ga sabko. Ok wait im sounding too optimistic i guess.

Hey Bat Fans, I am talking to you right now, Batman will always be the one who is in the DC comics since 1939 AD and he will always be the real one, Gotham’s Knight for the forever fans. No matter how many movie adaptations takes place, He will always be The Goddamn Batman.!

As Commissioner Gordon said in the dark knight series ,

“He is not a hero..he is batman..and Batman can be any one!” Right from Uday chopra to Ishant Sharma. 😀

Guess who’s back, back again!

Hey there!

Was flipping through the news channels and all of a sudden i stopped to see that Natwar singh is back in the news. Natwar Singh, who served as the external affairs minister in UPA-I under the PM Manmohan singh is in the news for his autobiography “one life is not enough” which is scheduled to reach markets very soon. It was Sanjay Baru who had had his book “the accidental prime minister” released earlier this year and now comes another insider Natwar singh and this time it will even more painful for Congress party. Oh wait, congress party? where is it? i cannot find one.

Now let’s see what’s inside so called “one life is not enough”.

Ever wondered why Sonia Gandhi pulled out of becoming PM in 2004? Stop wondering. In his autobiography, Natwar Singh puts the blame on Rahul Gandhi for not letting his MOM reside the PM’s seat as he feared for mommy’s life. So what if Rahul gandhi’s favourite song is “Sorry, blame it on me” (wahi Akon wala), you cannot put the blame all alone on him Mr Natwar singh. Meanwhile Rahul Baba was also found adding a milestone to his facebook profile which read  “Now officially responsible for double trouble to the party 1st in 2004 and 2nd everyone knows :p “. See the innocence of this fellow, so adorable. 

 Like Sanjay baru, Natwar Singh too accused the 10 Janpath Sonia gandhi’s Residence had been a real centre for power all these days. Baru and Singh were both once congress loyalist and are now indirectly inviting others to join them and share the insights of congress’s regime of which citizens are unaware of.

But wait, Sonia Gandhi has something to say. Yes Mam please. “I will write my own book and then you will come to know everything. The only way truth will come out is if I write. I am serious about it and I will be writing”. The master answer to all the blame.

The story of Betrayal and Truth!

Was it just because of Ishant Sharma? Think again…

Hey there!

The second most joyous thing to the mankind (especially me) after seeing manoj bajpai act is writing on the topic you know less about. And well that’s the same in the case. I grew up watching and playing cricket like every other indian citizen grew but gradually grounds were occupied by local municipalities for construction works. Gradually shifting from cricket i was bound my home sweet home and then came this BOOM!!! An overnight incident made me writer, maybe that’s what i feel 😛

 

I had a glimpse of newspapers and leading news channels giving it all to the one and only Ishant Sharma for his 7 wickets that made India win at Lords after 28 years i guess. And after the win i had expected Jadeja to remove his tee the same way Ganguly did in 2002 Natwest series. Well to my utter surprise how come news channels suddenly appreciate Ishant sharma? I mean months before he had his worst time on social media and news channels.

Samay Samay ki baat hai”

 

Alright let me take you straight to the reason why India won against england! I know it will escalate your mind but please be seated and don’t throw away your patience. Credit of this indian victory over England at lord’s goes to – all the GHOSTS present in room no. 333 in Langham Hotel where England team had stayed.

See, i told you please have patience.

Room no. 333 of Langham Hotel is claimed to be one of the most haunted places in London. People who had stayed in room no. 333 have claimed to see a variety of Ghosts ranging from short to tall, from Emperor napoleon III to a beefy with cropped hair wearing military style jacket. There are numbers of ghost in there but ECB still went with the idea of Langham Hotel. I believe all the ghosts out there would have had a good time with English team from stuart broad teaching them do’s and don’ts about bowling and Moeen Ali confusing the ghosts with his look “the hasim amla look”.

Ghosts just love no. 3 don’t they?

It was even reported that some of the players demanded room changes just because Ghosts were too much Possessive you know 😀

Now after you have known the reason behind India’s victory i hope you have a good life ahead.

 

PS : The above article is meant for fun and are writer’s personal views and no animals were harmed during this.

A first step to women empowerment, Right to LIVE!

Before starting with the topic, firstly I would like to make you people know why I chose this as my first topic in d satire category of parallel universe. We regularly talk and discuss about the burning topics of country as such politics, poverty, unemployment, woman empowerment, crime etc etc..

But in between all this we have forgotten the most crucial heading.. FEMALE INFANTICIDE. When I hear this word a fire ignites in my soul but uptill now I was feeling helpless. But today I got a stage for showing up people what I feel for it. With due respect I say yess the other topics are necessary but first of all we need to wipe out this dark spots; dark spots of cruelty and inhuman nature.

Lets stick to India, we live in a country where goddesses like LAKSHMI DURGA AMBA SARSAWATI are worshipped. And also in the country where still girls are being killed in the mother’s womb itself just for a reason that she is a GIRL child. Women empowerment can only be done if there will be any girl left. So our first step should be to save them. Female infanticide and foeticide need to be dealt with by mobilising people to get together and work against this social evil and bring about changes in the society.

What disturbs most is female infanticide is not considered a big crime and rarely do culprits get convicted. Once in a while there is a harsh conviction followed by some publicity, and it isn’t long before the news dies. Surprisingly, mothers are the ones who often perpetrate the crime, with the support of other women in her network. Since the mother is the one who has given birth to the “unwanted” girl child, she is the one who must do away with it. She is forced to do so at times, and willingly does so at others since she herself desires a male child. How much the mother, another victim of atrocities, is really to blame though, is anybody’s guess. Yess I agree, it is banned by the government and declared as illegal and punishable offence but still there are numerous villages and even cities where such sins take place. This is not an issue solved or sorted by government. For this, people need to awake up and take a resolution for stopping such shits.

Although disclosing the gender of a foetus is illegal, there are numerous doctors that disclose the child’s sex for an enhanced fee, and then offer to arrange for the abortion. Although there is a good law in place, its implementation is not as effective as it should be.

Its all about ideologoy of the people that differs at times. They won’t let their child fall on the ground and the very next day they would kill a baby girl who didn’t even get a chance to see this cruel world.

C’mon guys.. Its about me its about you and its about Us to stop this. With India having 940 females per 1000 male (2011 census) a lot of work is to be done.

O Ri Chiraiya
Nanhi si chidiya
Angnaa mein phir aaja re

O Ri Chiraiya
Nanhi si chidiya
Angnaa mein phir aaja re

Andhiyara hai ghana aur lahu se sana
Kirno ke tinke ambar se chunn ke
Angna mein phir aaja re
Humne tujhpe hazaro sitam hain kiye
Humne tujhpe jahaan bhar ke zulm kiye
Humne socha nahi
Tu jo ud jaayegi
Ye zameen tere bin sooni reh jaayegi
Kiske dum pe sajega angna mera

O Ri Chiraiya, meri Chiraiya
Angnaa mein phir aaja re

O Ri Chiraiya
Nanhi si chidiya
Angnaa mein phir aaja re
O Ri Chiraiya…

We here in this parallel universe strongly condemn such inhuman acts.

 

(this are author’s personal views)

 

Salman’s KICK : Hole in your Pocket.

Hola amigos,
Kem chho?

This is a movie review for Bhai’s movie I mean that’s fine please be seated.
The reason behind Salman khan getting that 100 crore mark every time is simple,very simple.
It’s not Salman Khan but His fans!
Let’s imagine the other hero(or my favourite one) Manoj bajpai. If Manoj bajpai would have ever done a movie named KICK he would have surely ended up his career at once but wait that’s not the case with Salman!

After watching trailer,
I had thought of a good entertaining 2 hrs and expected a bit new with screenplay written by bestselling writer Chetan Bhagat. I entered the theater and… surprise!surprise!  No CHETAN BHAGAT factor!

The first 30 minutes of the movie are common drama of Bollywood Masala, frustrating at times.
First half of the movie is all about explaining who is devil(devilal) and why he exists. The second half is little interesting because of acting and villainous sense expressed by Navazudin ( sorry for the wrong spell) Siddiqui. I had expected good ending atleast but Nadiadwala  disappoints (non salman fans).

Plus points:
Randeep Hooda has Total class in his role of officer. Abhishek Bachchan going to USA to arrest Amir made no sense but in this case Randeep was described as firm and duty bound officer appointed to catch Devil in Poland and His performance was fantastic.
The villain of the movie,
Navazudin makes the movie entertaining throughout from his entry to closure with his creepy laugh like Batman’s joker.

Minus points:
PLOT
The whole plot of the movie is unrealistic (like previous movies of Salman Khan) I mean,how can Salman escape from police force after making the bus jump in to the river? I don’t think any Police is as careless as showed in the movie.
Salman Khan is as usual as kissing scenes in Emraan Hasmi’s movies.
The scene in the movie when Salman is crying really don’t create emotional feeling towards his humble work to save a child.
As it is said ‘you need to put your brains and other heavenly belongings aside when you watch a Salman khan movie’.

It is a typical Sallu movie.The Ending is not satisfactory and made me feel disappointed.
Overall,The film is average.People went to theatre expecting to see something new but came out with negative reviews except Sallu bhai’s phan oops i mean fans. Diehard Salman’s fans will probably love the movie because it contains all loads which his fans want to see in ” A Typical Sallu Movie”.
But for a type of audience like we are who are expecting something new from Salman, I am saying “Abort mission!I repeat, Abort mission!”.

2 out of 5 stars from The CriticBat. Our ratings are typical “aam aadmi ratings” no nothing to do with kejriwal!
FYI:”Salman: Mere bare me itna mat sochna…Remake banata hoon,Original nahi.!!”

PS: Bhai still doesn’t give a f*ck about his critics hai na bhai?

 

(these are the personal views of the author)